Mimesis Law
22 October 2021

Clay Higgins’s Strange, Strange World

Mar. 4, 2016 (Mimesis Law) — Somehow, St. Landry Parish Sheriff’s Captain Clay Higgins ended up a bit of a celebrity for some viral online videos. His fame may be short-lived, however, as he’s quit his job in protest. The local news reports:

Clay Higgins, the charismatic Sheriff’s captain who put St. Landry Parish Crime Stoppers on the international map with his viral videos, has resigned from the Sheriff’s Office.

Higgins made the announcement Monday morning on the steps of the St. Landry Parish Courthouse. He says he was not forced to resign, but he felt he need to turn in his badge, which the Sheriff accepted.

Until I read that article, I wasn’t aware of Higgins or his videos at all. He must be pretty important, though, to justify holding a press conference. It can’t be easy getting on the international map either. His statement confirms just how important his famous videos must be:

“I will not kneel to violent street gangs. I will not kneel to murderers or the parents that raised them. I will not kneel to a discredited, wanna-be, black activist that doesn’t really have the best interest of his people in mind, who just wants to make a profit,” says Higgins. “I will not kneel to bureaucrats in Baton Rouge, Washington or anywhere else who have forgotten why they wear a badge and who have forgotten who they serve.”

Higgins said he loves Sheriff Bobby Guidroz. He admires him and respects him, but he can’t abide by his current orders.

If you’re thinking to yourself “yikes, they must really be oppressing poor Captain Higgins” and wondering what on earth is so special about those videos, you’re going to be pretty disappointed. Just take a look at his latest one:

Higgins embodies nearly every bad law enforcement cliché there is; they clearly don’t call him the “Cajun John Wayne” for nothing. He basically just pretends he’s talking to some bad guys and acts as tough as he possibly can. He calls the supposed gang members he’s addressing thugs and animals. He mocks them for being uneducated and holding their guns sideways. He even refers to his dumbbell press skills and willingness to return fire.

Higgins sees himself as a warrior. He isn’t trying to be a simple peace officer or consummate law enforcement professional doing an important job quietly. Instead, he comes off as having watched a few too many action movies, and he’s convinced himself that delivering monologues to alleged criminals is going to save the world. Forget about patrolling the streets, it seems Higgins believes the highest calling of law enforcement should be to mock a bunch of fugitives with a Cajun accent while holding an AR-15.

What’s far more amazing than the videos themselves is the fact some people seem to really, really like them:

Higgins’ strong rhetoric has made him and his videos extremely popular online, each spawning thousands of comments and many thousands of shares. He has started his own business, selling merchandise featuring his more popular phrases, such as “Listen to your Uncle Clay” or “I’m talking to you now, son” to help fund a homeless shelter he is building in St. Landry Parish. Higgins also has been invited to speak at various events and before various organizations and even was made Grand Marshal of Mardi Gras parades. Many others of comparable caliber like Higgins also seem to wish for the same kind of popularity that Higgins receives. They appear to be following Higgins’ methods or are trying popular approaches like say, buy YouTube likes, in their effort to gain viewership for their accounts. Hopefully, we will be able to see these endeavors blooming and get to view some good content floating online!

Unfortunately for Higgins, one person who didn’t was his boss:

Sheriff Bobby Guidroz was quoted in the Daily World after the Gremlins video aired, saying Crime Stoppers had gotten away from its original message, and he didn’t like calling out suspects and criticizing people. Guidroz promised to “reign” the segment back in to where he felt it needed to be.

Guidroz stayed true to his word, it seems, but it resulted in Higgins’s resignation:

Sheriff Guidroz issued the following statement on Higgins’ resignation:

“St. Landry Parish Sheriff Bobby J. Guidroz stated in a press release Monday that Captain Clay Higgins has resigned his position with the St. Landry Parish Sheriff Department because according to Higgins, ‘He disagreed with my orders.’

Sheriff Guidroz said, ” My orders to Higgins was to, ‘tone down’ his unprofessional comments on our weekly Crime Stoppers messages and had nothing to do with the Gremlins video that appeared on the networks. I agree with the Gremlins video. First of all; I repeatedly told him to stop saying things like, ‘you have no brain cells, or making comments that were totally disrespectful and demeaning. Second; Clay Higgins appeared on the cover of a local magazine in full dress uniform without my approval and permission. That too is something he didn’t like me controlling.”

It’s probably worth stepping back at this point and considering just how profoundly idiotic all of this is.

Higgins made stupid internet videos. He acted like the Cajun Steven Segal transported straight from the 80s. People liked it, though. People liked him. He let it get to his head, however, took it too far, and the sheriff ordered him to knock it off. Rather than say “oh yeah, I’m a cop and maybe I should quit making stupid videos and do some policing,” Higgins resigned in protest.

It appears the sheriff didn’t even make him quit doing the videos altogether. Instead, it was apparently so important to Higgins that he be able to continue calling criminals stupid and posing for magazine covers wearing his uniform that he’d rather just quit serving the public as a sheriff’s captain. He certainly didn’t leave because the sheriff ordered him not to investigate someone or not to make a valid arrest.

Considering that, at its heart, all of this is just about some silly videos, Higgins’s flair for the dramatic becomes almost comical:

Ladies and gentlemen, I would die, rather than sacrifice my principles. I would give my life, leave my wife a widow, and my children without a Daddy… Rather than kneel to the very forces of evil that I so long stood against.

Who exactly are these forces of evil? Again, it’s not like Guidroz ordered him to quit trying to find the gang members he’s after. And what about any of this has even the most remote chance of putting Higgins or anyone else in danger?

To Higgins, it’s obvious that the world might come crashing down if he can’t continue his crusade to call all of St. Landry’s soon-to-be criminal defendants morons on YouTube. If it weren’t for the fact that Higgins until very recently held both that worldview and a sheriff’s badge, this would all be a lot more amusing.

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  • Jake DiMare
    4 March 2016 at 11:31 am - Reply

    Meh. Sounds like Captain America is gearing up for his own run at the Sheriff’s office. Assuming they elect their Sheriffs in whatever kind of backwater bayou St. Landry Parish is.

    • Cornflake S. Pecially
      6 March 2016 at 8:19 pm - Reply

      Backwater bayou says Jake
      Strange, strange world says Mr. Brown.

      Well, did you two know that the parish seat of  St. Landry Parish is Opelousas?

      Now before you start speculating about why a gang from Opelousas would call themselves the Gremlin Gang and wondeing why a captain from the sherifs department would resign after making a few gun porn videos with civic leaders standing by other sherifs department commandos, you have to realize Opelousas is smack dab in the middle of Upper Cajun Country.

      You two may be onto something but Cajun Country (even northern Cajun Country) does not Crossroads or Plantation Country make and besides just because Opelousas is at the crossroads of US interstate 49 and Route 190, and is the most densely populated city in Louisiana doesn’t mean it is easier to guard all the crosswalks on the school routes twice a day.

      So maybe, just maybe, Captain Higgins was trying to maintain face while tipping off the “wanted” scouts of Gremlin Gang that he wanted to meet them down by the river for peace talks, so the kids don’t get caught in the crossfire?

      Then again maybe not…

      Will the retoric of 2016 get increasingly “strange”? Hopefully the “fun” is just getting started.

      Clay is not alone, from sea to shining sea the police are seeing themselves as soldiers and calling that “strange or backwater” isn’t gonna make that “feeling” go away.

      St. Laundry Parish is not a strange backwater bayou, whether you are ready to admit that or not.