Mimesis Law
16 November 2018

Social Media And Sex In Court Is A No No

February 3, 2017 (Fault Lines) — There’s one good piece of advice when it comes to social media. Don’t post explicit sexual activity on it. Especially if it involves you making whoopie in a courthouse. A Duval County, Florida woman has yet to understand this and faces felony charges as a result.

Apparently, the young woman in question, whose name has yet to be revealed by Florida media outlets, is seen in a Facebook and Twitter video on the fourth floor of the Duval County courthouse performing a sex act with a man. The caption reads, “I just found a way to get out of trouble.” This could be a credible statement; the CBS 47 story suggests the man in the video might be someone working at the Duval County Courthouse.

This isn’t the first time this strumpet managed to blur the lines of sexual deviancy on social media. Apparently she’s previously bragged of performing the horizontal mambo on frozen pizzas at the local Winn-Dixie. Her motivations for that act remain unclear, but there’s a good possibility her act was an attempt at “extreme couponing.”

It’s not as if her family hasn’t attempted to steer this young lady on the right track. According to the young lady’s father, he’s tried repeatedly to get her to stop this lewd and lascivious behavior for some time. He and the rest of this young lady’s family can’t be blamed for her lack of social mores. Furthermore, her prior history suggests a record of deviancy beyond control social norms can impose.

Back in 2009, she threatened to cut a ten-year-old child open with a knife. As recently as January 19, she was at the Duval County Courthouse for “marijuana-related charges.” If she’s smoking the devil’s weed, there’s no wonder she’s turned to a life of harlotry and dangerous behavior!

There’s a clear solution to this problem. The first step is to label this young woman as a sex offender, put her on the local Florida registry, and do so for life. Committing sex acts in a courthouse is worthy of no less a punishment. Second, remove her from her home and place her in a group centre where she can receive treatment for her obvious sex addiction.

Once she’s received the appropriate treatment (most likely electroshock therapy), then re-introduce her to modesty as a life concept. Reintroduction into an Amish or Quaker community might best serve this goal. After she’s spent some time learning a woman’s place is not on top of frozen pizza at Winn-Dixie, then potentially we can allow her return to normal society.

This is a sad case that highlights the problems of sex addiction. When women of ill repute are allowed to commit their chosen acts of harlotry in the hallowed grounds of a courthouse, it’s worthy of a felony. The unnamed young woman in this case is lucky we don’t propose the death penalty for desecrating courthouse property. Maybe it’s a Fault Lines moment of compassion. But don’t get used to it. It’s unlikely to happen again.

4 Comments on this post.

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  • Brian Cowles
    3 February 2017 at 7:48 pm - Reply

    “Reintroduction into an Amish or Quaker community might best serve this goal.”

    Somehow I see a Lifetime movie, where “a young woman from a life of crime teaches an Amish community that it’s okay to love”.

  • Richard Kopf
    4 February 2017 at 8:58 am - Reply

    Chris, this one of the funniest things I have read in a very long time. It also fits right in with my view of the practice of criminal law where perverse results are the norm. All the best.

    Rich Kopf

    PS If there is a God, the guy (why do I still jump to heteronormative assumptions?) on the other side of the transaction will be a judge!

  • clonedaddy
    6 February 2017 at 9:14 pm - Reply

    Chirs,
    Do you get your subject matter from Dreamin’ Demon or do they steal them from you?

  • Crime in Florida is Weird and Wonderful
    8 February 2017 at 9:13 am - Reply

    […] 8, 2017 (Fault Lines) — As Chris Seaton pointed out in his uproarious post last week on Fault Lines, crime in Florida is sui generis. As all lawyers know, “sui […]